The Case of the Missing Bananas

By

J.P. Nix

            Recently I came home from work to find my wife Nancy searching for a pair of bananas.  Now at first this may be appear odd to the casual reader, however if you’ve read some of earlier writings you know that it’s not that unusual.  At 171 Mishap Place, sometimes things happen, sometimes funny, sometimes complicated, and sometimes they just happen for no reason whatsoever. 

            My mother-in-law Mary is living with us, and she has dementia which Webster’s dictionary defines as a usually progressive condition (as Alzheimer's disease) marked by deteriorated cognitive functioning often with emotional apathy.  Speaking with first hand experience in dealing with the disease, I can honestly say that the human mind is a powerful entity, and when it begins to shutdown, it takes away not only the person who has the disease, but also those around the person. 

            “There were two bananas’ here earlier,” Nancy said to me as I walked in the door. 

            “Well don’t look at me,” I smiled.  “I’ve been at work all day.”

            “I know Mom took them, but if she ate them, I can’t find the banana peels anywhere. And it won’t take long and they will start to smell.”

            I put my briefcase down along with my lunch bag and said, “They ought to be easy to find then, we’ll just use our noses.”

That comment got me a stern, ‘Are you an idiot?’ looks from Nancy. 

“They’re not in the garbage can,” she insisted.  “I don’t know where she put them.  Mom has been hiding things lately.  Why I’ll never know.”

“Mom,” I said to Mary.  “Did you have a banana today?  Where did you put the banana peels?”

            “Paul,” she said(she always calls me by my middle name).  “I think something is wrong with Nancy.  I didn’t take any bananas.”

            “Why are you asking her?”  Nancy was beginning to lose her patience.  “She doesn’t remember.”

            I heard the sound of cabinets opening and closing coming from the kitchen area. 

            “Mom,” I said to her again as she looked up from where she was seated.  “If you had taken the bananas and ate them, where do you think you would have put the peels?”

            “Look under her chair”, Nancy shouted.  “Sometimes she’ll hide things under there.”

            After Mary rose from the recliner, I turned it over only to find nothing but carpet. 

            “They’re not here,” I said as Nancy began going upstairs.

            Mary sat back down as I followed Nancy into Mom’s bedroom.

            “Check under the four corners of the mattress and I’ll check the chest of drawers!”

            “Right,” I laughed.  “Let the hunt for the banana peels begin!”

            “It began an hour ago when I noticed them missing.”

            “Oh.  Well I guess I’m late.  Sorry I missed out on the first hour of fun.”

            I checked under the entire mattress and under the bed itself, and came up empty. 

            Nancy pulled back the covers of the bed, and lying under the two pillows were two bananas in tact.  The bananas had not been eaten or even peeled. 

            “Why do you think she would hide bananas in her room?”

            “Maybe she was saving them for a midnight snack,” I smiled.

            Of course that got me the idiot look again.

                                The End